Writing smart business email
Was writing a business email this morning and noticed something strange with the way I was writing it:
…..I was speaking with the Team X and there is concern about how our charter overlaps with their’s…
The reality was, there wasn’t really concern, there were just a few questions. Some education was in order. I was inadvetandlty setting off the fire alarm when there was not even any smoke, just some dry kindling! I rewrote the mail to focus on the positive:
….I was speaking with Team X and we think there is an opportunity to scope our roles and projects so we have the most cross-team synergy…
Subtle change in wording will convey a completely different set of emotions.
I have to say I think the first draft is better, despite your concern with the word “concern”. You could have altered it to be: “…..I was speaking with the Team X and they have a few questions about how our charter overlaps with their’s…”.
Your final “an opportunity to scope our roles and projects so we have the most cross-team synergy” is classic business-speak. David Brent would be proud of that one!
People think they have to assume a special language to communicate in a business environment when really they don’t. Keep it simple. The trouble is it’s easier to speak confusingly than it is with clarity.
David
January 26, 2007 at 9:02 am