I never really liked her show (the topics didn’t resonate with what I cared about), but I did like how she acted as a person. In a TV world full of fear-mongers and drama-queens she held court during her afternoon talk show hour in a more upbeat manner. Now that her Oprah show is over, she’s been spending more time doing other things, and talking about topics that I do care about.

Her Lifeclass is really great. She’s had Tony on several times, Deepak Chopra and others. Worth tuning in to online. They have posted the full episodes along with notes for each class.

I took care of the garden and at times, resented having to spend so much time doing it. I always loved eating the fresh produce, but the whole gardening thing started to get old after a number of years. I preferred to spend my free time horsing around with my friends, playing games, reading or doing anything but getting dirty!

This mentality stuck around for years, as I went to college and moved into a series of rental houses and apartments. I loved eating fresh produce, but could care less about growing it myself.

Fast forward 15 years later, and I am now the proud owner of my first home. While my property is not that big (1/5th of an acre!) and mostly shaded, I now have a new-found appreciation for doing things on my own, and that includes growing stuff. I’ve surprised myself with how much my own mindset of owning land has made me want to take care of it, and do something useful with it. There is also something more freeing now that gardening is something I want to do, not something I have to do.

So far, I’ve planted carrots, several types of kale, red cabbage, collards and a planter box full of snap peas. It’s not much but a start. Eventually I’ll get some more planter boxes going in the sunny spots in my back yard with tomatoes, hot peppers, squash and more salad greens.

Collards, carrots and kale

Red cabbage, two kinds of kale, carrots

Snap peas in an Earth Box

There it is, you can skip the rest of this post! Most diets are defined by what you CAN’T eat not what you CAN eat. Vegans are all about not eating meat or dairy or eggs. Paleo’s are about not eating grains or dairy or processed stuff. Raw foodists are all about not eating cooked stuff.

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it fundamental goes against our psychology and what motivates us over the long-term. No doubt, excluding things from your diet can work very well for a while (e.g. not eating fried food, or cutting out all dairy products) – but the mental model that is FAR MORE POWERFUL and SUSTAINABLE over the long-term is one of inclusion not exclusion.

Exclusion is what I’ve already stated: defining a new way of eating based on cutting something out of your diet (meat, dairy, sugar, alcohol, etc.).

Inclusion is focused on adding in the good stuff. Eat more salad. Eat more fresh fruits. Drink more clean water. Don’t worry so much about cutting stuff out. It will happen on its own if you focus on adding in the good stuff.

Here is an example:

Suppose you are trying to lose 10 pounds over the next two months and decide that you want to overhaul your diet. Instead of saying to yourself “I am going to eliminate all the bad food from my diet”…why don’t you say “I am going to eat a big salad at every meal, no matter what.”

Notice that the second statement DOES NOT imply that you can’t eat other stuff. You can still eat your bacon and eggs for breakfast, but you also get to eat your salad. You can have the burger with lunch, but you also get to eat your big salad. You can go out for dinner and have pasta…but you better start the meal with a monster sized healthy salad.

You see…when you add in the good stuff….you slowly – but inevitably – cut out any room for bad stuff to creep in. If you are eating a salad with every meal, how much space are you going to have for sugary/fatty desserts? How much space are you going to have for bacon and eggs! Not much! Over time, you’ll start making the salad the priority and treat everything else as secondary.

Likewise, if you are trying to eliminate coffee. Instead of trying to just go cold turkey, focus on adding in TONS of clean water every day. Keep a log with how much you drink. Make sure you are hydrating over and over. You’ll find that when you are more hydrated you will sleep better, and wake up feeling better. You might even find you need that cup of coffee in the morning anymore. You can also experiment with adding in herbal teas every morning.

So next time you want to make a change in your diet…focus on adding in the good stuff, not just cutting out the bad. It will be more likely you’ll stick with whatever you are trying to do and the long-term progress will be far greater than just relying on excluding things from your diet by sheer force of will.

How do you deal with such situations and the people involved?

One option is to get angry, frustrated and label the other party as wrong and maybe even totally psycho! Put the blame on the other person, protect your own ego and make it a story of “me vs them”. This option might feel good initially, but will inevitably lead to more frustration, anger and rarely will solve the issue at hand. It is far more likely that you will enrage the other party, cause more resentment and ill will between everyone. Not to mention the sleepless nights spent tossing and turning worrying about the issue.

Another option is to assume the best and highest intentions for the other person involved. Don’t cast them off as psycho. Don’t belittle their ideas. Don’t make them evil. Don’t create a story of “me vs we” or “us vs them”. Instead, assume that they are behaving the way they are because at some level, deep down, they truly believe it and it serves some higher purpose for them. Assume that in their view of the world, they are right and doing the right thing.

You do NOT need to agree with their point of view. You only need to assume that they have a reason for it, and that their intention is good. You may need to really do some soul-searching to find that good intention – but it will be there if you look hard enough.

This applies even in extreme cases – where lives (or entire ways of life) are at risk or big sums of money are at stake. Even for people the public might condemn as murderers and felons, there is some seed of intention and higher purpose for what they have done. Even if that purpose serves only the individual and not the other person (or people/community) involved. It is still there.

For less  extreme cases – this is also true. Let’s take the example of a disagreement at work with a co-worker. You might not agree on an issue, but if you start a conversation by assuming their best intention (they are trying to help, build a stronger team, solve a hard problem, etc.) then you immediately have common ground and can move forward to find a resolution. You don’t have to agree with their actions, but how can you doubt their intentions? How do you know what is going on in their head? You don’t, so take the “high road” and assume the best.

At some level everyone is right in their own mind and any dialogue needs to start with acknowledging that in your own mind and internal dialogue. The alternative is to assume they are out to get you in some way…and that way of thinking just leads to stress and despair.

I prefer the way of thinking that lets me sleep well at night.

Organic food is worth the cost. Organic produce has 40% more nutrition (on average) than conventionally grown stuff. There are studies that demonstrate how medium-sized organic farms can out-produce large-scale industrial farms over the long-term – with higher profitability for farmers and healthier customers in the process. The health and environmental issues with conventional industrial farming practices are too big to ignore. The animal welfare is another thing…..I’ll save that for another post.

Before I paid attention to what I ate (college days!), I would cringe at the notion of paying $0.50 extra per pound for organic bananas or $4+ for a dozen organic eggs. Now, it is a no-brainer. Even better, buy local AND organic.

I order my groceries through SPUD. They make it easy for people in the Seattle area to buy fresh, local, organic products – with the added convenience of home delivery and the gas savings of not having to drive to the store all the time (they deliver ~100 orders at a time via their trucks which is far more efficient).

Every dollar you spend is a vote in favor or against sustainable food production. Vote wisely!

Keep a log of how you feel during the day based on your energy level.

Over time see how hydration, nutrition, sleep, training and work schedules impact your energy.

Then, make adjustments to maximize your overall energy level, and make sure that your key activities during the day are aligned during the times when you have the most energy to give.

For example, I know that hydration has a HUGE impact on my energy level. I also know I tend to have the most energy between 9-Noon. After noon (and until 3-4pm or so), I’m essentially useless . Later in the evening, I get a second wind around 9-10pm but if I take advantage of that I will pay the price by feeling awful the next day.

Knowing this I focus on getting creative tasks at work done in the morning before lunch, and do my training in the evening around 5-7pm. I carry a water bottle with me and hydrate constantly during the day – especially when teaching lots of yoga or training more in hot weather.

I don’t believe that it is necessary or even possible to feel awesome ALL of the time. Instead, strive to do your best to feel good MOST of the time, and focus on making use of that productive time to do something worthwhile.

A typical lunch during the week, a super large salad with grilled tofu and peanuts at the cafe at work. Yes, we have an awesome cafe!

It is up to you tell stories that are either empowering or dis-empowering.

Empowering stories give you the confidence and the energy to follow through – even in the face of adversity.

Dis-empowering stories perpetuate fear and worry.

If you find yourself caught up in making excuses for why things aren’t going your way or blaming and resenting others for your own unhappiness, chances are you are stuck in a dis-empowering story. Re-writing the story to be empowering might not be easy but it is in your control to do so.

Here’s a short video from Tony Robbins on stories, using Steve Jobs as an example:

For another example of someone who has chosen to write the story of her life as an empowering tale, see my previous post on 108 year-old Nazi concentration camp survivor Alice Summer.

Artwork from U2's "Joshua Tree" album. Source and copyright: U2.

I’m a big U2 fan and enjoyed watching “Classic Albums: U2, The Joshua Tree.” This one hour documentary from 1999 has interviews with the band members as they join their producers in listening to tracks from the album and reliving their creative process. It’s a pretty amazing thing to watch as Bono, The Edge and others re-live classic tracks and tell the stories around how they were created.

I particularly like the part where Bono talks about “Still haven’t found what I’m looking for” and “With or without you” and how unconventional the songs were at the time to perform. They were really new sounds and out of step with everything else that was around. Very unconventional and ecstatic music that was alive in a new kind of way.  Now, of course, we’ve all heard the songs a million times and they sounds like they totally just “fit,” but when they were being created this was not the case.

It struck me how so many new ideas at first seem foreign but later seem familiar. It takes confidence to stick with new ideas that you believe in, even if they at fist don’t seem to fit. I’m glad U2 did.

6/15 2.4mi Friday Night Swim Race : This race is just a tune-up and a motivating force to get me in the pool during the spring. I’d like to swim 1:10 or so for 2.4 miles, which will be faster than my time last year.

6/23 Pacific Crest Half-Ironman : I’ll be racing at a pace above my Ironman race pace, and testing out all the planned nutrition and gear I plan to use during Ironman Canada. My goal is to beat my time (5 hrs 9 mins) from 2002 when I did this race (and IM Canada) in the same year. I was a much faster runner and swimmer then but I am a faster cyclist now (and generally more experienced racer) so I have a shot at achieving the goal.

7/26: RAMROD (152mi Bike) : OK, this isn’t a race, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and after volunteering last year I’ve guaranteed myself a spot. The 152 mile bike route circles Mt. Rainer and features 10,000 feet of climbing and some of the most beautiful scenery the world has to offer. My goal for this is to finish, and eat a TON of pizza afterwards.

8/17 2.4mi Friday Night Swim Race : My only goal for this race is to swim faster than my time in June and do a great job drafting off others. Targeting a sub 1:10 swim.

8/26 Ironman Canada : This is my “A” race for the year, my big goal. 10 years I raced here in 12 hours 09 minutes, and my goal is to beat that time and go under 12 hours. Back then…I was a much faster swimmer/runner…but poor fueling strategy left me crippled during the last half of the run. This time around, with proper pacing and fueling I have a good shot at going sub 12.

–

In the fall I will do at least one more triathlon and then transition to running races. Depending on how healthy I feel, I’d like to do a 50K in October/November and give The North Face Endurance Challenge 50 Miler a go.

Me finishing Ironman Canada in 2002, age 22.

2. Live in the present.

3. Be optimistic about the future.

…go on and be happy.

Tulips in La Conner, WA during the Tulip Festival a few years ago. It's almost that time of year again.